so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I should be sponsored by Trojan
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
