been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
