I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The beers last night were like the tears from god
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize