We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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