apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
