just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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