So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
