I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
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