He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
