I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
