fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
