20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Two words: blizzard sex
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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