It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
