I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
