Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
