Tell her she can't have a vagina
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
