Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
