i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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