the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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