Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
