Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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