I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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