His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
