She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Randomize
