Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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