Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize