I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
