Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
