I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
