you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
