i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
