I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
