His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
