So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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