Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
