So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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