Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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