We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Randomize
