airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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