Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
