Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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