what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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