actually, I'm a sock model
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
