I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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