I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
