hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
