I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Barsexuality is the new black.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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