If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
