is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
