woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
