Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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