I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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