Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
