I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
