Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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