Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
