She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
