she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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