Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
