I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
there's paper in my vomit.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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