Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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