either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My liver just had a heart attack.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
