At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
