You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Floor bacon is actually really good
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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