If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Randomize
